Silly Things That British People Say

1) "Mind the gap."

2) "Time for a tea break!" [takes out cup of tea- where were you hiding that, Mr. Irish Lit Professor?!- and looks around] "Why don't you have your mugs and tea bags with you?"

3) "Your shoes are quite clicky. Do they make you feel important?"

4) "When we defeated the Germans in 1945..."

5) "Garage." (Just listen to a British person say this word- you will giggle for a good five minutes.)

6) In reference to Toni Morrison: "Oh yes, he does very good work." Upon being informed that Toni Morrison is a woman: "Ah, I remember now. She had a sex change operation a few years back." Upon being informed that, no, Toni Morrison was born a woman and is an African American Pulitzer prize winner who wrote Beloved: "Ah, of course! The one that your Oprah Winfrey is such a fan of!" Yes, elderly British woman, Oprah does enjoy Toni Morrison's work.

7) In reference to the British Empire: "Back when all was right with the world..."

8) "The colonies" in reference to The United States of America.

And my absolute favorite:

Often when in the tube, you hear announcements from the station managers. These announcements usually inform you of where the approaching train is headed to, and then ask you to please stand behind the yellow line. The other day, after hearing this standard announcement, we suddenly hear over the loudspeaker "Woman reading the newspaper, STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE!!!" Apparently, Big Brother is real and is very invested in the patrons of the London Underground.

Peace out, cubscouts.