British Men Are Creepy

Sound: "The Ding Dong Song" by Gunther

I thought that Creepy James was the epitome of creepy British men. I was wrong.

Yesterday, a few of us went to Starbucks to use their free wifi (they are much nicer than McDonalds, both in decor and in attitude). I didn't want a drink, so I went down, set up my laptop, and waited for Mia and Theresa. The entire time I was waiting, a creepy man stared at me. Maybe my fly was down? Nope. Maybe my hair got blown about by the wind? Nope, all good. Finally Theresa joined me. "There is a creepy man staring at me," I whispered. "I don't think he's even blinked for the past five minutes." After a stealthy glance at said creepy man, Theresa agreed that he was indeed creepy and was indeed staring at me. Thankfully, Creepy Man left soon after.

A few hours later, Shena came home and told us that another creepy man (hence known as Creepy Man 2.0) stopped her on the street. He told her that he'd seen her around a lot and asked her if she lived in the area (like any smart girl who just found out a creepy man was stalking her, she denied residence). He then asked her if she was from London and if she wanted to go on a date. She said she was visiting, sorry, and ran away.

The thing is, these men don't have to be creepy. Creepy Man was actually kind of cute; just REALLY creepy. He could have had a chance if he blinked. Or, you know, didn't stare for five minutes. Creepy Man 2.0 could have totally rephrased his questions and maybe would have been successful. But, no. British men, apparently, are just too creepy to figure it out.

Also, I've used the word "creepy" 17 times in this post. Perhaps I should invest in a thesaurus.

Peace out, cubscouts.